BUREAU OF ANSWERED QUESTIONS
faq
All questions have been pre-screened and approved by the Ministry of Communications. Unapproved questions will be ignored.
INQUIRY #DT-001 What are the shirts made of?
Our tees are printed on Gildan 5000 blanks - 100% preshrunk cotton, 5.3 oz midweight. Comfortable, durable, built to last through multiple wash cycles and political cycles alike.
"The fabric is the best fabric. I picked it personally. I definitely know what cotton is." - DT
INQUIRY #DT-002 How do the sizes run?
Our shirts run true to standard US sizing (S through 2XL). Gildan 5000 fits slightly relaxed - if you're between sizes, go with your usual. Check the size chart on each product page for exact measurements.
"Every size is the best size. Especially mine. I'm a Medium. A very powerful Medium." - DT
INQUIRY #DT-003 What's your return policy?
30-day returns on unworn, unwashed items with original tags attached. If something's wrong with your order - wrong size, print defect, damaged in transit - reach out and we'll make it right, no questions asked.
"Returns are a sign of weakness. But fine." - DT
INQUIRY #DT-004 How long does shipping take?
Orders are printed on demand and typically ship within 2-5 business days. Standard delivery is 5-7 business days after that. Expedited shipping options are available at checkout.
"I tried to make shipping instant by executive order. Apparently that's 'not how logistics works.'" - DT
INQUIRY #DT-005 Is this a real political organization?
No. Don Taco is a satirical apparel brand created by Nine Jam LLC. We sell t-shirts with political commentary. We are not affiliated with any political party, candidate, PAC, super PAC, taco truck, or actual taco. Don Taco is a fictional character.
"I am very real and very in charge. This question has been flagged." - DT
INQUIRY #DT-006 Who is Don Taco?
Don Taco is a bewildered cartoon taco who has somehow found himself in charge of... everything. He doesn't understand how he got here, he doesn't understand what's happening, and he has absolute confidence in every decision he makes. He is the mascot, the mouthpiece, and the entire joke.
"I am a very stable taco. The most stable. Many people are saying this." - DT
INQUIRY #DT-007 Can I suggest a design?
We love hearing ideas. Drop us a note through the contact page or DM us on social media. If El Presidente approves your slogan (and he approves most things, because he doesn't read them), it might end up on a shirt.
"All ideas are my ideas. I thought of them first. Even the ones you thought of." - DT
INQUIRY #DT-008 Do you ship internationally?
We currently ship to the US, Canada, UK, and select EU countries. International orders may take 7-14 business days. Import duties and taxes are the buyer's responsibility.
"We would ship everywhere but some countries have 'banned' me. Their loss." - DT
INQUIRY #DT-009 Why is a taco running things?
Honestly, we're still trying to figure that out. He showed up, declared himself in charge, and nobody stopped him. Sound familiar?
"Because I am the most qualified. Name one taco more qualified. You can't." - DT
INQUIRY #DT-010 Are any proceeds donated?
A portion of proceeds from select designs supports voter registration and civic engagement nonprofits. Specific campaigns are announced on our social channels. We believe satire works best when it's backed by action.
"I have donated to many charities. Tremendous charities. I can't name them because they're classified." - DT
