APPROVED OFFICIAL
Don Taco - El Presidente

THE GLORIOUS LEADER
YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR.

"I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm doing a lot of it." - El Presidente Don Taco
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BREAKING: Don Taco announces he is the best at announcing things ECONOMY: All numbers are up, says the guy who controls the numbers APPROVAL RATING: 146.7% - Don Taco thanks himself for his support WEATHER: The forecast is whatever Don Taco says it is CHICKENS OUT: All chickens have been relocated. Don Taco About It. FASHION: Don Taco named Best Dressed by committee he personally appointed SHIPPING: All packages now arrive 'tremendously fast,' per official decree FACT CHECK: Don Taco has disbanded the Fact Check Department
CLASSIFIED

OFFICIAL UNIFORM REQUISITION CENTER

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FORM DT-2026-001
The Deficit ISSUED

The Deficit

From $28.00 APPROVED
FORM DT-2026-002
The Client List ISSUED

The Client List

From $28.00 APPROVED
FORM DT-2026-003
Relocation Options ISSUED

Relocation Options

From $28.00 APPROVED
FORM DT-2026-004
No Dic In Team ISSUED

No Dic In Team

From $28.00 APPROVED
FORM DT-2026-005
Chickens Out ISSUED

Chickens Out

From $28.00 APPROVED
VIEW ALL APPROVED UNIFORMS →
VERIFIED

CITIZENS IN UNIFORM

field-verified compliance

FIELD AGENT #001 - CHICKENS OUT
FIELD AGENT #001 - CHICKENS OUT
FIELD AGENT #002 - NO DIC IN TEAM
FIELD AGENT #002 - NO DIC IN TEAM
FIELD AGENT #003 - RELOCATION OPTIONS
FIELD AGENT #003 - RELOCATION OPTIONS
FIELD AGENT #004 - THE CLIENT LIST
FIELD AGENT #004 - THE CLIENT LIST
FIELD AGENT #005 - THE DEFICIT
FIELD AGENT #005 - THE DEFICIT

"Every single one of these citizens volunteered. We did not make them do this. Probably."

THE REGIME'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS

independently verified by the ministry of numbers

146.7% APPROVAL RATING
0% SCANDALS (THAT WE ACKNOWLEDGE)
∞% DAYS UNTIL RE-ELECTION (CANCELLED)
Don Taco approves these numbers

THE WALL OF APPROVED MESSAGING

all designs

The Deficit VIEW DOSSIER → The Client List VIEW DOSSIER → Relocation Options VIEW DOSSIER → No Dic In Team VIEW DOSSIER → Chickens Out VIEW DOSSIER →
El Presidente laughing at his own proclamation

I have built the greatest apparel brand in the history of apparel brands. Everyone agrees. The fabric is tremendous. The slogans are perfect. I wrote them all myself. Every single one. Nobody helped.

- El Presidente Don Taco

He didn't write any of them. He can't write. He's a taco.

Don Taco is a satirical apparel brand by Nine Jam LLC - political commentary you can wear, from a leader you'd never follow.

ENTER THE MINISTRY OF TRUTH → about